This morning, I woke up a little hung over and in need of a coffee. My coffee maker absolutely blows, so I decided to take a stroll a couple blocks down the road to The Good Egg Cafe, on Middle Street in Portland Maine. I was by myself so I was hoping for some bar seating or something of the sort, but they only had tables. The hostess was very nice and made me feel comfortable taking a table to myself, besides, I like to people watch and read the paper. I ordered the Homemade corned beef hash, with two eggs over easy, and italian toast. I am a bit of a hash connossieur, its my "go to" breakfast. My coffee was delicious...they probably use Coffee By Design Coffee, and I read an interesting article about what it would be like to own a lemonade stand as an 18 year old. There was a clumsy busboy/host who was dropping dishes and knocking over flowers, so that provided something to watch.
So when my plate came out I wondered where the corned beef was. Upon further evaluation I realized it was there, but in big chunks that were hidden by all the potato and carrot and such. The hash was really good, but again I would have liked more of the corned beef and less of the filler. The eggs were cooked perfectly, and the hot sauce I put on everything had really nice flavor... which brings me to a rant.
It really grinds my gears when I go to a breakfast place and ask for hot sauce and they bring me out Tabasco. Maybe I'm crazy, but it really doesn't do it for me at all. Any legitimate breakfast restaurant should have Tabasco and Franks Red Hot, at bare minimum. There's two types of hot sauce lovers in this world... Morons, and people who prefer Franks to Tabasco... Needless to say I prefer Franks. For years I fooled myself into thinking the generic supermarket brand was just as good because I am committed to saving 7 cents whenever possible, but it just doesn't measure up. I looked at the label and realized why... Franks has Garlic in it. So I've decided to cancel my health insurance to make up for the 7 cent increase in my hot sauce expenses every month. Besides, I'm borderline invincible anyways.
So here we go... Overall impression of The Good Egg Cafe... Good Service, Pretty Good Food, Comfortable atmosphere, and delicious hot sauce. I'll definitely go back there, besides it the closest restaurant to my apartment.
Grade: Not Terrible
Sunday, April 17, 2011
A Sad Day Indeed
To get this space off to a good start, I would like to bring to everyones attention one of the greatest atrocities in recent history...
Sour Patch Chillerz are an absolute disgrace to the Sour Patch Brand. Sour Patch Kids have been my favorite candy since I can remember. Right down to that last grain of bitter sugar in the corner of the bag, I can never get enough. It didn't even matter to me that after eating a huge bag my mouth was so cut up and my taste buds didn't work for a week, It was always well worth it. So about a year ago, I see this new Sour patch product. I am skeptical as always, but i try them out because I like to practice brand loyalty. Well after eating two or so, I puked a little in my mouth, and was thrown into a violent rage. I began looting stores and burning cars. I felt like I had been abandoned by my oldest friend. After I destroyed an entire city, I became sad, almost to the point of tears, but I didn't cry because 1. It is physically impossible for me to cry and 2. Crying is for the birds. I can't even imagine how this idea even made it to the production line, nevermind putting this disgrace on shelves for the public to consume. I would imagine it went something like this...
(Board of directors meeting)
CEO: "Those Harry Potter Jelly Beans that taste like dirt, boogers, and worms, are killing us in sales, what kind of disgusting product can we make to keep up with this growing demand?"
Corporate Yes Man: "One time my son drank a glass of lemonade right after brushing his teeth and he decided to eat sand to get the taste out of his mouth"
CEO: "Perfect!!! So its even worse than dirt, this is going to make us all billionaires. Lets call them Sour Patch Chillers, but we'll put a Z at the end to make it Chillerz, because thats what all the kids are crazy about these days right?"
Or something like that. Anyways to make a long story short, if you've ever had the craving for listerine and lemon peels, Sour Patch Chillerz are for you.
Grade: Just Terrible
Sour Patch Chillerz are an absolute disgrace to the Sour Patch Brand. Sour Patch Kids have been my favorite candy since I can remember. Right down to that last grain of bitter sugar in the corner of the bag, I can never get enough. It didn't even matter to me that after eating a huge bag my mouth was so cut up and my taste buds didn't work for a week, It was always well worth it. So about a year ago, I see this new Sour patch product. I am skeptical as always, but i try them out because I like to practice brand loyalty. Well after eating two or so, I puked a little in my mouth, and was thrown into a violent rage. I began looting stores and burning cars. I felt like I had been abandoned by my oldest friend. After I destroyed an entire city, I became sad, almost to the point of tears, but I didn't cry because 1. It is physically impossible for me to cry and 2. Crying is for the birds. I can't even imagine how this idea even made it to the production line, nevermind putting this disgrace on shelves for the public to consume. I would imagine it went something like this...
(Board of directors meeting)
CEO: "Those Harry Potter Jelly Beans that taste like dirt, boogers, and worms, are killing us in sales, what kind of disgusting product can we make to keep up with this growing demand?"
Corporate Yes Man: "One time my son drank a glass of lemonade right after brushing his teeth and he decided to eat sand to get the taste out of his mouth"
CEO: "Perfect!!! So its even worse than dirt, this is going to make us all billionaires. Lets call them Sour Patch Chillers, but we'll put a Z at the end to make it Chillerz, because thats what all the kids are crazy about these days right?"
Or something like that. Anyways to make a long story short, if you've ever had the craving for listerine and lemon peels, Sour Patch Chillerz are for you.
Grade: Just Terrible
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